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Jul 16

Daughter swallows bottle of sleep meds, grandchildren are with us, Poems “His Brokeness” and “Take This Holy Stand” written today

On Saturday, our daughter took a whole bottle of sleep medication after she called me and told me that all her dreams of going to school have been dashed because she doesn’t have the money to go and Work Force Services won’t give her the help and funding she needs if she wants to pursue Criminal Justice. She always talks in a way that says “rescue me.” Rarely do I say what I said, but I did it—“You’ve made choices that have made it extremely difficult for you…You’ve got to figure things out. I’m not rescuing you.” About twenty or so minutes later I got a call from the police telling me that she had swallowed the whole bottle of pills and they were rushing her by ambulance to the hospital, and would I please come get the kids. So our 3 year-old and 5 month-old grandchildren are with us. Emotionally I’ve been a wreck, the baby’s been sick with the flu, and she kept me up all night. I desperately need to cry out my grief, but I’ve been holding it all in. I feel drained.

I wrote this poem today:

His Brokeness

My God, cradle my broken heart

Which was pierced by his brokenness

As he thrust his sharpened javelin

At my now destitute, weary soul.

My life’s ambition has been

To restore his worth and dignity;

Yet, he still cannot trust, nor believe.

 I am drained emotionally and physically. My poor husband is struggling every bit the same. This poem I wrote today was inspired by what I’m going through with our son and daughter, as well as the Sunday School lesson which included the Ramiampton from the Book of Mormon:

 Take This Holy Stand

Take this holy stand I built with my hands

And let me stand in holy places.

Strip away pride and strengthen my feebleness

That my willingness may unveil illumination

And make acceptable my repentance.

May thy pure charity pull me into thy embrace

That I may see thy face.

2 comments

  1. Daline

    you inspire me, thanks.http://www.locawebi.com

  2. Marilyn Lewis

    I’ve been reading your blog and thinking of you often. You and your family are in my prayers.

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